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Bankrupting Love
with Expectation and Obligation

It doesn't make sense.
We meet a wonderful person.
We fall in love.
The romance is fantastic for a while.
Then the relationship ends (in essence and/or form)
and we feel hurt and resentful for what we had.

How could we be given the gift of loving
and the gift of being loved,
and yet, instead of feeling deeply grateful
for these gifts, we end up 
feeling hurt, bitter, betrayed, and resentful
(and sometimes downright hateful)?

It happens because
we continually create obligations, expectations, and hopes
for ourselves and our lover in our future together.
It happens because 
we are not willing to embrace the risk that love is.
It happens because 
we try to guarantee a future
and we feel cheated if it doesn't happen.
It happens because 
we are willing to put ourselves
and our lover into a world of obligation,
where we are unable to say to ourselves,
"If my relationship with my lover ended tomorrow,
I would be blessed and grateful 
for all that I have experienced with this person."

It happens because 
we do not keep our relationship clean
from the entanglements of expectations and demands.
It happens because
we will be happy with our lover
only if s/he changes.

When you have loved,
did you love with the recognition that,
"If my relationship ends tomorrow
(in essence and/or form),
I will feel grateful and blessed
for having loved and having been loved?"

If you are currently in a love relationship,
what, if anything, is necessary
for you to answer "yes"
each and every day
to the above question?

Can you see how the same principles
would apply to maintaining the quality
of any type of relationship in your life?

Choose the courage
to keep your relationships free
of expectations and obligations.

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